Reflecting on the ruins....

Reflection...I often find myself reflecting as I drive. This past Tuesday was no exception.

I was driving, my daughter in the passenger seat, Glorious Ruins blaring on the radio, us singing at the top of our lungs, tears flowing as we worshiped together. It was amazing. It was therapeutic. But shouldn't have been?

For the past few days, I've felt like I was floundering. Like I'd jumped too high out of that amazing stream of tranquil water that typically leaves me full of peace but this time, I'm left gasping for air.

I had become my own worst enemy as my thoughts and emotions took over leading me to believe I was doomed. I was going to fail. I was going to die.

I felt totally alone and in fact, I thought I was. I was without hope and with no one to rescue me. I really had myself believing that life as I knew it was over.  Certainty of my impending doom left me stranded and believing I would never make my way back into the flow of His peace and blessing.

And then these words grabbed my heart...(click to hear Glorious Ruins: Hillsong)

Let the ruins come to life
In the beauty of Your name
Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

And my soul will find refuge
In the shadow of Your wings
I will love You forever
And forever I'll sing

Glorious Ruins: Hillsong

With those words, God once again began to breath life into my floundering, exhausted soul. Suddenly the fight, the feelings of wanting to give up, quickly subsided as He reminded me of the refuge found in Him. The safety and comfort that comes from resting in the peace of His mighty wings.

I have walked through fire before and His story of love and grace carried me through that fire but I had forgotten. I had lost sight of Him, of His truth.

Though daily, the enemy relentlessly tries to beat me down through an extensive list of avenues hoping I'll forget God's goodness while attempting to destroy my faith, leaving me to doubt the significant and unfailing love of my Daddy.  But each of those moments left doubting His love while questioning my worth are just wasted moments. He is always patiently waiting, wanting, longing for me to step into His glorious presence.

But in the end, He always brings the ruins back to life. And because of Him, I can hold my head high. Because of Him, each and every failure is lost because of that day when Jesus took His place upon the cross. And in that moment, that selfless sacrifice He made upon the cross is perfect example of the unconditional and amazing love of Jesus. And on those days, when I've waited too long to spend time with Him, He picks me up, wipes away the tears and He not only places me back in the streams of His mercy and grace but He breaths life back into my weary soul once again.

How enduring is God's loyal love;

the Eternal has inexhaustible compassion.

Here they are, every morning, new!

Your faithfulness, God, is as broad as the new day.

Lamentations 3:22-23