For years I struggled with accepting His sovereignty. I spent a lot of time listening to the advice of others while doubting God's voice and direction. The enemy used a lot of conversations and situations to deceive. It left me feeling lost, scared and hopeless.
I wrote several days ago about God's grace and how He has lavished me with His love and grace. This morning as I was reflecting over the past several years I became so overwhelmed by the gift of my husband. I have been through many bad things. My children have suffered terribly. It would be very easy to stand back, look at all the bad, and question God’s plan. It would be easy to listen to the negativity of others, as they doubt what God is doing instead of trusting God’s word. God knew and knows what I need. He knows how my mind and heart work and so He created a person who compliments me in every way. He gave me a partner who encourages my faith and points me toward the cross when I find myself doubting.
I am in awe as I am watching my life unfold right now. I spent years praying for very specific things and I spent years thinking that God did not hear me and even questioned whether He cared. I longed for a home where God was first. I longed for relationships where God was the center. I longed for a life that was covered in prayer. I look at my husband and I recognize that God did hear my prayers and He answered. My lack of trust and patience led me to doubt His goodness and faithfulness. I wanted those things right then and there. Those wants were valid wants but in order to appreciate them as I do now, I had to wait on His perfect time.
I am learning new things every day and I wake up amazed over and over at the awesomeness of God. My husband and I both walked away from previous marriages with a list of things that we would not get wrong this time. Neither of us is bitter from the things that we left behind but instead we see them as those things that have taught us about ourselves what we needed to change in order to be better people this time around.
How amazing to have a God whose grace is so astounding that He can take two broken people and bless them with something so sweet. There are days when I feel I do not deserve His loving kindness, His grace and love but that is when I grasp that His grace is a gift because He does love me. It is nothing that I can earn but instead something He gives to those He calls His child. It is just another confirmation that God’s grace is greater than anything our human minds can comprehend and it extends to all people who place their faith and trust in Him.
"Grace, grace God’s grace. Grace that will pardon and cleanse within.
Grace, grace God’s grace. Grace that is greater than all our sin."
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