All of this is for your benefit. And as God's grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.
2 Corinthians 4:15
This morning I noticed that I have not written in quite some time. It is not that I do not have anything to write about, as it is quite the opposite. The problem is that I have so much to write about and so little time to put it all on paper. As being one who uses writing as therapy this is not a good problem to have. It means that I am constantly walking around writing in my head leaving everything a jumbled mess. There seem to be too many stories to tell.
Back in March, I wrote about my husband who used to be a pastor and titled it My Husband used to be a Pastor Part 1 leaving room for the rest of the story. Who would have thought that three months would pass before I would have the opportunity to put into words the rest of the story? God knew. He knew what was coming. He knew this story would only get better and I needed time to let it play out.
My husband is no longer a pastor by definition. He is currently a corrections officer in a state prison where men are sitting on death row waiting to die. He spends 12.25 hours a day “caring” for men who have committed heinous acts such as rape, murder, sexual abuse on children and so much more. He works in a place where there is not a lot of God but instead of lot of worldly ugliness. My husband spends time with men who the world has forgotten and tossed aside. Society has given up on these men but not my husband. He is an amazing man that way.
Over the past several years, my husband has been referred to as a great many things. Many of those things are not pleasant things. His character was trampled and integrity questioned. He was judged. He was ridiculed. He was wounded and hurt. He has taught me so much. Through it all, he taught me that the only opinion that matters is that of God. Only God knows the hearts, motives and actions of His children. All other opinion need be ignored. At the end of the day, God alone will judge us. For me, a people pleaser, this is not an easy thing to put into practice but I watch him live it out on a daily basis. I watch him as he seeks daily after the Lord and turns to the Lord for direction. He does not ask the opinion of others but instead looks to Truth from God’s word. He inspires me.
That is how my husband lives his life. When the world would condemn his choices to love the unlovable, he chooses to love anyway. When the world would condemn his choices to help someone who has caused him so much hurt, he chooses to help anyway. His heart is big. His patience not always as great as his heart but in the end he does what needs to be done to show the love, grace, forgiveness and mercy to those who need to see those things lived out in a the harsh reality of this world.
Over the past week, I have watched my husband put this all into practice. He has extended a great deal of grace, forgiveness and love and it has blown my mind. Upon sharing the events of what has transpired I have had the great privilege of sharing the faith that my husband and I have with those who don’t understood the choices my husband has made. It is an amazing thing to watch the faces of those who do not understand grace and forgiveness as they see it in action. I am so incredibly blessed! God is using my story and my husband to share His love and grace with those around us.
I am so proud to be his wife. I am proud to call him husband. He is an incredible leader in our home and a mighty example in front of my children of Jesus. He may no longer be a pastor in the world of “church” but he is a walking example of who Christ called each of us to be. He lives out the great commission!
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